Never in my life, I accept myself to intern in the office where father's working.

The thing is, whenever I go, I always hear father's name--that I am his daughter. It's not an entirely unpleasant thing, but sometimes, I felt like I just standing behind his shadow. Not my own.

Father always tell me he'd never register me as one of the intern if I don't have the knowledge and talent. But the thing is, how much he told his friends about me?

Almost everyone sees me as my father's daughter. So far, I only found one person who never talk about it. I know he hears about it from his friend or the other people, but he never mind it, at all. He sees me as me--as Pinky, not anything else. I hope I can work under him again the other day.

Not as a real officer there, of course -- I never intend to work under the same building as my father. Maybe while I'm still an intern. And you know, he's quite handsome himself, lol. Never in my life I ever consider someone at that workplace as handsome. This is the first time.

Just yesterday, my best friend told me he registered to one of television station -- one that I always consider to register too in the future. You know, we even talk about how it is if we work under the same building, again (we're on the same secondary school (senior high) back then).

That'll be interesting, but at the same time making me thinking even harder.

I want to pursue my dream as a Scriptwriter. I know the chance to work as a Scriptwriter in television industry is minimum. The workplace I always aim is film industry, place where many Indonesian director need more creative Scriptwriter. That's what I need if I want to pursue my dream.

Or even more, gaining experience from the outside industry. But one thing I know, film industry is the right place for me. Not that I think television industry isn't made for me, but the film industry is way more promising for me who want to pursue the Scriptwriter career.

I think I'll register to the same workplace as him, but I will register as a Scriptwriter in film industry, too. Yes. No matter what seems more interesting, my dream is always the number one thing I should pursue.

What we should gain from internship. (Source: Money Crashers)

 Sometimes, I just need to write what I want to write, not what I need to write. I mean, here. I actually find it amusing that me, Pinky N.A, trying to write "seriously" on a blog. Wow.

 

Okay, okay. I wrote this post because I'm hella sleepy. I need to finish my radio drama script (I've been extended it for 3 days now). For this, I'm trying to back to my night owl routine, drink a cup of coffee, set a comfortable working space, listening to musics suited to my current mood, setting notes near me, et cetera ... et cetera ... but I just can't find it.

 

Ah, now I feels like my brain's been refresh. This is what I want.

 

As a night owl, working in the middle of night usually give me so much energy and creativity. And don't blame me for my lack of morning get-up. I actually hate being a morning person. There are two things I would love to have if I can. First is never having the need to go outside forever. Second is never having the need to wake up before 11 AM (in other word, morning).

 

Foolish me. Of course I will never have those things.

Now, now, so, listening to TVXQ's songs give me boost. So much of it. Especially when I hear Changmin seonbae's vocal. (I just finish listening to Chocolate by Max Changmin).

For you who never visited this blog of mine before, I welcome you dearly! (If there is any, lol). This blog have more of my rant than any other else, trust me. More like an online journal. A not interesting journal to read, yeah? Well, sometime this blog helps me reduce stress, or even anxiety.

I'm listening to TVXQ!'s Catch Me. A catchy song, yes, if I could say (even if people said this song isn't original). Now Apology by Max Changmin. Ah yeah, I've been influenced (again) by TVXQ recently. Not that I have any issues with that, anyway.

Alrighty, I think I need to start write the script, then. You know, writing for script is veeery different from the usual writing -- like this one, as example. Writing a script is thrilling! I love it. Okay, yeah, I should go now, or else, this blog will eat me (I mean, I can't let go from here if I stay any longer, I think). Yeah, I think. Bye, for now.

(Source: myself)

Smile (Doc. BetterHelp)

Have you ever avoid some foods because you didn't feels like eating to? I mean, when you're sick. I am. Have you ever feels very tired, but the next time someone you like (it can be your idol, favourite author, or the other) came over, you feel like you're not sick again? I am.

 

Let's not talk about theory, but don't use your feeling too much either. I remember reading something called as happy dopamine...? I think that's what we need when we're sick. Forget about eating healthy foods, forget about doing nothing; if that was me, I'd love to eat my favourite food and do what I want. Of course, with some notes to myself that I can't exhaust nor damage myself more.

 

So, yeah, I was sick for 3 days. First, I felt weird on my stomach. It hurt me so much that I can't even stand properly. Plus, I have a problem at that time: I think I lost my friend's room key and my phone died when I'm out, so I can't call out an online driver. Bad stomach + bad luck, what a great day. I lost my appetite. All I want was a cup of sweet drink -- I bought red velvet flavour.

The next day, it get worst. Plus, I got a slight fever. I don't want to eat rice (Indonesian know rice as the main of main dish, so no rice, that's mean you don't eat anything), but when I don't eat it, I felt really weak.

Ugh, enough of my own back story. Did you think this one would be long? No boy, it won't. I'm still too tired to think and it's freakingly hot here. Two electric fans aren't even helping at all. The point is, I want to post something again on my blog.

By the way, is any of you watching anime or reading manga (or perhaps both)? Please recommend me a good mystery anime and/or manga!

(Doc. MarTech Series)

 Copying from Weibo

Hello. It's my 2nd time celebrating your birthday as an Antarctic Star and my 1st time as a Twelve. I don't really like being emo--I mean, writing out my emotion too much, so I'll just keep it simple.

Happy birthday, Zhennan! Shengri kuaile! Wishing for every best aspects to you.

Thanks for being the real 'slap' for me. Well, you can sometimes became my inspiration. What I mean by 'the slap' is you makes me realise and consider what should I do and don't, what is the meaning of things, how I tend to complaint more than action before, aaand so on. You're a year younger than me, but there are times when I think you're mature enough more than me. That's one of 'the slap'.

Thanks for being yourself.

Zhou Zhennan with his black nail. (Doc. Weibo @R1SE-周震南)

Zhennan for one of R1SE's ep. (Doc. Weibo @R1SE官博)

Work From Home illustration. In my case, Study From Home. (Doc. DeviantArt)

I'm still questioning what is the problem for silent readers? You know, those people who only intend to read while opening a group chat. Those people are the silent readers. Honestly, I don't see any problem with that. Are you promoting your product? Are you asking those people? No, isn't it? Then what fuck is your problem, damn it?!

I still cannot understand.

Just because some people are intending to be quite, then doesn't mean that's a disrespect action, right? What is the problem, huh?! People have their own rights to be quiet. It can be because they don't know what to say or simply shy, or like me, thinking of doing too much "talking" in a group chat are unimportant. Well, if it just chatting here and there, then I have the rights to stay quiet, am I wrong? Huh.

I only talk when there is something important. If there is no any important things, then why should I speak? I don't really know each of you and can't even simply trust all of you, so why bother making any networking or friendship? We're living as a lying being there. Huh, if there is no club activity there, I'm sure it'd be better if I leave that place. There's no such important things, honestly. But well, don't mind this one rant.

You won't understand even if you read it until you lose all of your hair. Haha.

Ah, it's beautiful how listening to a song can make such a big difference for me.

People who always complain about the silent readers won't understand these completely. Beat me. (Doc. Brilio.net)

You know, I'm watching Fairy Tail right now. I'm in the middle of 2nd season. So far, I learned something interesting. Of course, there are tons of romantic pairings in Fairy Tail, but there are also friendship pairings too! The most friendship I love is Gajeel Redfox and Juvia Lockser.

Fighting together. (Doc. Amino Apps)

They've known each other even before joining Fairy Tail's guild. They're the closest duo for me in Fairy Tail (I know Natsu and Lucy got so much screening...), but they're not interested in relationship matter, more like friendship or brother-sister status. This is my first time to see an interesting pair like this.

Deep down, I'm thinking about my best friend right now. Me and my best friend are the same like Gajeel and Juvia. We're from the opposite gender, we've known each other for a long time, we knew each other better than anyone else, but we doesn't have any romantic feelings toward each other. That's why watching Gajeel and Juvia as a best friend/sibling pairing is warming my heart.

Of course, we have our love life too. We always support and help each other about it, but again, we never intend to have a romantic relationship together. Just like Gajeel and Juvia. They're really the most true friendship I've ever seen in anime.

I am listening to one of Fairy Tail's soundtrack right now. This is the main theme. Listening to this one making me remembering Gajeel and Juvia's friendship moment again and again. Well, not like they're the most pair I like to think about, but still...

Well then, I'm convincing my best friend to watch Fairy Tail, so we can finally see ourselves in Gajeel and Juvia. Geehee! (Smiling like Gajeel) Ah, the Grand Magic Tournament... the best moment of Gavia friendship for me. First when Juvia compete inside of a big water ball. When Mirajane questioning whose the better at the competition, Gajeel immediately answered, "You don't need to ask. If it's water, then it must be Juvia." Then when Gajeel and Natsu fighting against the twin dragon slayer of Sabertooth; Sting and Rogue, she cheered for Gajeel by yelling, "You can do it, Gajeel-kun!!!" I love how strong their friendship bond is.

I'm sure our friendship can be better than the Gavia bond. We're the best of the best friend, after all!

Having the same thought. (Doc. Wattpad)

Juvia tries to carrying Gajeel on the back. (Doc. Gramho.com)

Rubbish bin is a metal, so... (Doc. Tumblr)

Gajeel helping Juvia with hair-styling. (Doc. Pinterest)

The first time Gajeel and Juvia at Fairy Tail. (Doc. Amino Apps)

Here are some Gavia photos for ya! Geehee!

Mark my words. If my best friend found what I mean by Gajeel and Juvia pairing, then I'll copy-paste this article for my best friend to read.

It's been lingering in my head for quite some time. I've been thinking about what kind of type I want to for my partner. Haha.

Ciel Phantomhive and Elizabeth Midford from Black Butler (Doc. Pinterest)

Well, I'll avoid using he/she terms as much as I can.

1. Should have a logical mind like me, or better, more.

I hate people who use too much emotion rather than logic. I hate too much emotion itself, so it's fair enough to seek a partner who advanced in logic. Well, I am not going to say I didn't use my feeling at all, it just I don't like using it too much. That's disgusting, even if you're someone close to me, yeah honestly.

Believe it or not, even if on the outside it looks like I'm using much emotion, in reality, I'm just balancing everything with my logical mind. That's it. Most of the time, of course.

I don't care if my partner isn't more clever than me, as long as my partner is a logical person, that's not a problem.

2. An ignorant person.

Well, it's not like I dislike people who give much affectionate care, but I prefer a partner who lacks care for me. It's like, I can always gain full trust from my partner. I just need my partner to support and smile for me. I want my partner's support and smile to always be mine. I mean... my partner can support and smile to anybody else, but most of it should be mine only.

If deep inside my partner's heart is actually a caring person, I want my partner to show affectionates in a shadow. I don't have to see/know directly what my partner does to me. Ah, just thinking about it makes me a little bit happy.

3. Like to befriend/hanging around with my opposite gender friends.

Well, I... have some close opposite gender friends. One is known to be my best friend who I knew since secondary school (senior high) and the rest are my friends from college. I know it's a little bit adorable by imagining my partner when jealous, but I prefer my partner to befriend my close opposite gender friends, or better, hanging around together. It's the other way around too for me, of course.

I love to have knowledge about people personality, so hanging around like that sure give me more experiences.

4. Doesn't afraid of creeping animals...?

Yeah I have a phobia for these animals, except the snake. I love snake. So, I hope my partner isn't a coward like me for this one, so my partner can protect me. Somewhat... And of course, I hate it if my partner making fun of me using this weakness. I'll immediately break up, don't care.

5. Know his/her line for romantic things.

Even if I dislike romantic things, I know I can't stop my partner for showing a romantic side, if my partner wanted to. But I like my partner to know his/her line. I hate cheesy things, ew...

Well, by writing this so-called thought, that's mean I am showing my romantic side, isn't it? Although it's embarrassing to admit it...

6. Wearing eyeglasses

It's not a must, but I have to admit I have a soft side for people who wear eyeglasses. Whether it's a fictional or a real person. Haha.

It's like, this is how I judge people from the first glance. I like people who wear eyeglasses better, although most of the time it's just a mere like.

7. Love books more than anything else.

Well, again, it isn't a must, but I will love it sooo freaking much! Having a partner who love reading as mad as I am? (Or even better, more.) I'm going to cry all day long if that's true.

We don't need to communicate too often. Just sit by each other and read the book in our hand. We can even review our books together! Ah... I can't imagine it any further or else I'm going to faint. Nah, just kidding. Hahaha.

8. Doesn't try to be anyone else.

I know if someone is trying to be somebody else rather than be him/herself. I really am. So it's useless if that person has all the criteria above, but trying to be someone else instead. If we finally become a partner, then that's your time to show your true self? Huh, nonsense. I hate it. If you're just trying to befriend me, that's okay. I don't mind at all. But if it's for a partner, well too bad, I'll dislike you.

So, above anything else, don't ever try to be somebody else. Even if you think it's awkward to be yourself, that's better than masking your true personality.

Nalu (Natsu x Lucy) from Fairy Tail (Doc. Wallpaper Abyss - Alpha Coder)

Ahaha, I don't know what I am bluffing for. The thing is, that's it. I'm done. Too much emotion and I dislike it so freaking much. Bye.

Funny how I used to despise writer's profession. Any kind of writer.

Yes, I love reading. But writing wasn't my cup of tea. I think writing is far away from what I like.

And now, I told myself I want to be a writer, and my focus laid on script writer. But I want to try any kind of writing. To tell myself that if I try, if I practice, I can overcome any struggle. Really, funny isn't it?

Writing is not that bad... now that I love to try writing. From writing a short story to a film script. Writing a content to a theatre stage writing. I'll try every kind of it.

But tbh, there's one thing I think I can come back again. Writing a poetry.

I don't know why, though. I used to love writing poetry to express my feeling, but now, I can even read a simple lyric that looks like poetry. Ugh. Too flowery, I think. I don't know for sure, maybe because I realise I don't like using too much feeling into my writing. I mean, a "too much" feeling. Ugh, no.

So yeah now I hate poetry, I'll leave poetry to those of you who love it.

My number 1 priority is to write as many script as I can, whether it's for Television, Radio, or Theatre. But if there's another challenge, I'll take it! As long as I have the time. Like, this morning. I wrote a travel writing, woohoo! For the first time in my life, I finally writing an English based travel story. I've write about travel before, but never tried in English.

I'm so happy to know that the job I found terrible in the past can become my priority.

I thought I want a profession as a dancer become my priority, but... I think this isn't my time yet. If I prove myself to be a professional dancer now... what? I should ditch the other possible profession? No, I can't even think about that. But if I want to make writer as my priority right now, I can continue after my graduation and even start a profession as a dancer. Sounds great, right?

That's only my opinion for myself. Because I can't only think the me right now. I have to think about my future too.

Bismillah.

Writing (Doc. Prince Pinky)

I love rock music, of course! (Photo: Pinterest)

You're telling me about the soft side of rock? Of course, they can heal you. For those who can't understand rock music, I'm deeply sorry for you, just like how sorry people if you can't appreciate classical music.

The drum is the best soft melody in my ears. The electric guitar soothe me immediately. Those two are the best instrumental of rock, but bet on me, the vocalist is the best part, you can't deny it.

No, silly. I'm not mad. In fact, I'm free of any kind of sickness right now.

I'm not talking about the beautiful of rock music, because beauty isn't the right word... I think. But nah never mind, I'm not going to talk about that.

ROOOCK!!! (Photo: www.rockradio.com)

Have you ever listen to rock music while sleeping? Well, most of my sleeping time, yes. Sometimes, I can't imagine how should I sleep peacefully without rock music. While writing or thinking? Of course, I have! Rock music helps me to ruin the wall in my writer's brain, always. But, hey have you ever cry because of rock music? Because I have. Ballad and slow-pace song is nothing. Rock music sometimes can be very sad.

Well, honestly, I kind of have a feeling for Alice Nine. That Japanese visual kei rock band. I don't know why, I often listen to A9's songs, even though I'm not one of their fans. Yeah, my love for rock music in general. As far, A9's songs are the best to soothe any of my problem, or anxiety.

Soft side of rock music? Still asking about it?

Rock performance's cartoon (Photo: Clipart.Email)

Try asking yourself. I'm not telling you to "love" rock. Just understand the soft side of it, like what the title said. Personally, I would love to learn how to play drum.

"Tasukete..."

There's battle inside my body. My whole body is crying, stopping whatever my brain is trying to work out. I don't know.

From inside of my... brain cells. He's trying to stop the tears. My bad, I can't even gain my instinct. I'm hearing anther whisper of my name. From her. I know it's you, Emily. Someone's trying to mocking me. Unfortunately, again.

I'm trying to use your name, ha.

Wait.

My brain's telling me to explain. About this. Actually, I never intend to... cry. You can blame that black liquor, but shoot--you don't have time.

DON'T LAUGH AT ME!

My emotion told me to cry as I want--"I never want to cry!" he said--I said, to myself. Instead, I wrote something non-English. It's... real. I know my brain will win. Take that, you mental, my mental emotion. I don't hear anything.
Ballad--no. Their vocals can't cover you, I don't know why, but I supposed to know and I think I know. Instead, these 5 men accompanying me like there is no end for this. Wait.

That's not them. They're my friends, my real friends. I know!

This is the... 2nd time, I think, that I have to suffer. Ah, what a bad word. Now, ha, see. It's like talking to myself.

No. No! If you're you, please don't come! Just please. It's nothing...

I can use this.

I never know writing and rock music can heal me. And hey, I'm back. Thanks, for not doing something unnecessary to me. I know I'm not. But now I'm shivering. But--for the 2nd time, I'm having a headache. Oh please not that thing.

The representation (Photo: Ines Marita)

I'm on the edge of 3rd semester, which mean I'll have exams week soon (it'll start on 2nd January). This morning, I want to say something bitter and also sweet of good-bye (that's why it's called as bittersweet).

A grand piano (Doc. Yamaha Musik)

I have Illustration of Music class, which is learning about how actually a music score working in a film, music video, or else. But no, we're not learning how to play an instrument. I love this class, because music always become my little passion, even though I don't have talent for music at all. Two days ago was the last and also the most "grand" class session of Illustration of Music.

We're headed off to Bantul for the workshop. Oh right, I almost forget to tell that the class itself is a workshop. I was very excited to attend the class and absorb as many as my brain can contain. I remember my Professor said, "You're a musafir* (re: moo-saa-feer). Headed off from Sleman, to (Yogyakarta) City, and then Bantul," to all the Muslim's men in the room. Haha. Because that day was Friday, when Muslim's men are supposed to do a pray (Indonesian called is as Shalat Jumat; Friday Pray, which is held every Friday).

Yes. I'm not going to talk about the workshop, because it'll be way too long to write that here. And, I written it before for my resume assignment, so why bother re-writing it in English? I'll write everything I want from the experience.

I love the place. It's unfortunate I didn't take any photo. Well, I'm not a person who will take the initiative (for taking photos). It was like entering a new dark but adventurous world. One of my friend told us there's graveyard for Christian people at the end of the road, so it's kind of creepy. I... don't think so, but I can't make sure, because I didn't take a look at all.

The workshop was interesting. I could see my Professor playing a Keyboard, and feeling the grand of his playing. This is my first time to see it in person, to be honest. He never brought any real Keyboard to class with him (it'll exhaust himself, so he should asked someone to borrow his Keyboard, he said).

I didn't ate anything before, so I was starving when I got there. Fortunately, they provide us some snacks. At least I can endure my craving for food. Then at the end of the workshop, they gave us a rice box and a cup of hot tea. That's nice. Because I love any free food, haha. The Roasted Chicken was very delicious, said my friends who happened to try the Chicken a little bit (they're my friends from the rented-room, but of course they're from the other room from me). Well yes, the Roasted Chicken was very tasty!

Speak of my Professor, he's one of few Professors that I love. I love the way he teach us and how persistence he is to us. And, I love the lesson too! How wonderful. Unfortunately, he's not a permanent Professor in my college, so he'll only teach one class every two semesters. I'll never meet him anymore for the next semester, for the 6th semester, and for the 8th semester. The most sad think is, he'll (most probably) never teach me anymore for the rest of my study here. So when I shook hand with him (and looking to his eyes directly), I almost can't help myself from crying. I'll miss him. I'll never forget his class and all the stuffs he teach us for this 3rd semester. I can hold myself not to burst in tears, but I can't when I finally spoke about it to one of my rented-room friend. Thank you for your lesson this 3rd semester, Sir. I hope I can be a great person someday, so I can show you this is me when I'm successful. Amen.

Nowadays, I love to learn the dances of produce's theme song. Let me tell you, I even have a mini project to record a video of Ei Ei dance, the Idol Producer's theme song. That's how I love to learn. I also learn the other dances, including the girls, but Ei Ei is my priority. But I came to some conclusions. Bad conclusion.

Idol Producer's theme song "Ei Ei" (Doc. Twitter @fyidolproducer)

1. I have a big lacking of detail. Even though I love details in writing, doesn't mean I love details of dance. Learning the detail of the dance isn't my way of learning new dance, but I have to!

2. Learning more than one dance at the same time is annoying. Because of the details. I never had a detailed learning before. It was only me as a solo dancer or with the three of my friends but we barely point out the details.

3. I watched a video of Xu Minghao (The8) when he was a dance coach on Idol Producer season 2. Guess what? It's like falling in love and getting a hard slap at the same time. I love the way he teach the trainees. Truth to be told, I never found any dance coach with such patient like him. I'm not a Carat (well I was), but I know I love it. I want to be like him someday, if I have the chance to coaching the other. But, I don't like it too. It's hurting me because I can't become like him. I know, he's a pro dancer while I'm not. But it's not as easy as that. His job is an idol and his main part is dance. While me? I am a college student. My major isn't dance. Dance is only a college extracurricular. It's sadden me when I know I will never be like him.


4. I want to decrease my overconfidence. It's not like I'm showing my dance and blocking the others advice, no. It's like, I know I'm lacking in such part, but I can't telling myself that I really don't know. I really can't. I don't even know the dance, but I keep shouting, "Oh! I think I know the dance!" No. I'm not.

5. I want to join a dance academy, but I have no money. Even if I have a money, it'll be a bother that I don't have my personal vehicle. I don't even have a personal cycle.

Dancing (Doc. LiveAbout)

The second is actually coming from Weibo. I can't paste the hashtag because Weibo is being a bitch right now.

It's telling about your youth experience. I am talking about my dance experiences. Not so much to tell, but at least I can participate. There is another event too, on Twitter. Just include #OurMemoR1SE on your tweet, then we can participate. I haven't write anything for the Twitter project. I'll think about it later.

Oh, right! I am a Twelve, fan of R1SE (a Chinese boy band). That's why I joined the events.

R1SE (Tofupop Radio - BEC Tero Radio)

I've told myself. I only writing when I'm stress or depressed. Never in my life I'll let myself so freely like this. Yes, I wrote my blog. How pity. It's like I was defeated, I am admitting to myself that I'm in such condition. I don't know if writing here is a right decision, so all I am telling myself is I want to force myself to write in English. So, it's all about my English skill.

Neck pain (Doc. Ellis Physical Therapy)

I remember I tried a mechanical massage chair some days ago. I hate that thing. All I got is pain. Not even reduce my pain a bit. I have a headache, my bones are aching, my neck is hurting... really, all I got is pain! And all of those continue until now. Maybe that's my biggest stress for now. I can't even control my sleep like usual, freaking funny. I even got more emotional changes, if you want to believe what I am writing. Ugh I hate that chair. It took away my precious 20 minutes and Rp20.000,00. How amazing.

I can't concentrate as usual. Not for the daily basis, but when I'm in classes. I even have to stop typing for some times. It's really hurt. My back, my neck, my head are hurt like hell. I don't like this at all.

One thing for sure, because of this pain, I have more reason to increase my dance routine effort. Yes, dancing helps me to release the pain, even for some times, not permanently. But I quite like it. I have more reason to not skip the dance routine. Guess God give me other way of helping. He's helping me to enjoy my dance. Thank you.

If I have to admit myself, I already got a back pain even before I tried the chair. Basically, that mechanical chair successfully double my pain, ha ha ha.

I hate it. I can't control my emotion as usual. There's too many negative emotion nowadays. I need help to massaging my pain away...

Emotions (Doc. GoodTherapy)

Emotion. Most of my friends think emotion is a bad word. Emotion means mad or angry. But for me, emotion is feeling. Your true feeling is your emotion. Well, I have to tell the truth that I'm not a person who often use feeling. I prefer to use my thinking more than anything. So now, maybe some of you who read this now have a question, "Why bother talking about feeling if you're not a feeling-attached person?"

Actually, I feel thrilled, haha. Talking about feeling is not my style, heck, yet I'm still one of the best person who can listen to the others. It's not my statement. They who "talk" to me state it.

I always have my comparison. I choose to use my thinking more than feeling because I think using too much feeling can affect in a bad way. Yet for thinking, I can load my brain before anything happen. Sounds simple, but no for me.

Take it as an example. I am a straightforward person. I'm not going to lie. This evening, I felt so disappointed with the two of my dance friends. Today is a selection day for the biggest event of my college. I'm not the one who will choose the performers, but God! They chose two people based on their personal specification! I know it, because they said, "We already have two names before there's even a group for this." I mean, what?! The two of you are not even helping me to speak with the people from the event, yet that's what you did?

Hang on a second. Those two people they chose didn't said that they want to perform for the event, BUT one of them told me to chat both of them directly. I already give up from that time. I know the both of them are great dancers, but still, can't you consider the other dancers? The other who willingly join of their own will! I hate this from the start of their influences.

If I'm not a straightforward person, maybe I'll write this as a poetry instead. (Ew hell, I don't like poetries. Cheesy.)

Does it link? There will be the biggest event of my college. My dance club will perform for them, need 5 people. There are two people who originally never said they want to perform for this event, but two of my friends insist that I have to chat them directly, ask them if they have interest to perform. They "agreed". The result is very obvious. Of the freaking course, both of them are selected to perform. Haha, funny.

But well, life is not fair after all. If I use my feeling instead of thinking, there will be no influences from them. They probably will not help me at all. Who knows? Because their "favourite" dancers are not in the group. HAHA TALK ABOUT BEING SARCASTIC.

I want to tell you, emotion is very dangerous. I prefer to avoid emotion and befriend the thinking. And please respect all of your friends.

There is another example. I want to do something for my class. I want to make it simple by joining those together, but there are no "yes" from my classmates. So, what should I do? Stay lazy and be quiet.

I'm not taking my class for lazy, but if my friends tend to be lazy, then so be it. Fuck.

I watched a video on YouTube, about things lazy people should know. I... immediately watch it. I think I can be categorised as a lazy person, haha. So! Today is a plain and troubled day, so far. I had a problem with my Microsoft Word. I am not going to tell about the problem, because I'm too lazy to tell a story. Yes, people! This "typing" is about LAZY and lazy only. Don't get yourself tidying up your room or have a bath (because honestly, that exactly what I was doing this morning). Today is HARI REBAHAN NASIONAL!!! Or we can say it as National Lying Down Day. How great it sounds! I can't wait to lazying myself more than I ever did.